


Bab El-Wad

by Roga



Category: Israel Defence Forces
Genre: Anthropomorphic, Collection: Purimgifts Day 3, Gen, Israel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-24
Updated: 2013-02-24
Packaged: 2017-12-03 15:47:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/699911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roga/pseuds/Roga
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The corps wait around.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bab El-Wad

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Hagar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hagar/gifts).



  


*  


"He'll be here on time," said Manpower, checking her watch again. 

Medical rolled his eyes. "Do you mean on-time on-time, or two hours late?"

"Those are basically the same thing. So. The latter," admitted Manpower, leaning against a rusted armored vehicle, one of many entrenched in the dirt. "At least we’re all here and ready, so – perfectly on schedule."

"Hey," said Armor. "Don’t lean on those, they're monuments."

Manpower raised an eyebrow. "One of your boys just stubbed their cigarette on it."

"What!" Armor scanned the group and narrowed his eyes. " _Reserves._ I should have known."

Reserves mock saluted him, wild hair ruffling in the wind. Armor scowled. 

"Aaaaach, I'm thirsty," said Artillery. "It's ass-hot out here. Anyone got a drink?" 

Education took her cue. "All right everybody, drinking break!" she said brightly. "It's a hot day, we don't want anyone to get dehydrated! Long swigs, guys and girls, let's get at least half a liter in each of you!" 

"That's what she said," snickered Computer Service, as Manpower simultaneously asked Medical, "Why is she doing your job?"

"Because people actually listen to me," Education said cheerfully, and pulled out a laminated Bristol paper diagram of the human body, pointing at the large **_60% Water_** sharpied at the center. "Partially because I have cool diagrams."

"Oh, come the fuck on," said Artillery. "Infantry just finished all the water."

Infantry burped with satisfaction. 

Manpower frowned. "Can’t you take some from him?" she asked, indicating the khaki-clad figure standing off to the side, drinking from a canteen.

Artillery pursed his lips with distaste. "That's Air Force. He's got petel and he's not sharing."

"Fucking Air Force," every green-clad member of the delegation muttered in unison.

Logistics pulled out a clipboard. "There are ten more water jerrycans in the jeep down the road, but someone needs to go get them."

"Who wants to—"

"Air Defense," said everyone.

"What the fuck!" Air Defense cried, and crossed his arms. "Fuck you guys, no."

"Go, go, tzair, work out a little, why don't you," said Infantry.

"Fuck you tzair, I've been around since World War Two."

"Ah-ah-ah," said Archive, wagging a finger. "Technically you were Artillery—" Artillery waved. "—And then you were Nun Mem, but only in 2011 did you become Air Defense. Officially, you're only two years old."

"But—" Air Defense's words hung in the air as he helplessly tried to find fault in the logic. Finally, he threw down his hands. " _Zubi_ , fuck you all with a Patriot," he said, and marched off towards the jeep.

Armor sniggered. "Yalla, rookie, scoot." 

Air Defence spun to flip him two birds, and turned back to the road. 

"Ah, to be young," said Combat Engineering. "I… don't miss it at all."

"Well, don't look forward to growing old too much," said Reserve. "Unless you like being called away from your kid's birthday so you can stand around doing nothing while you wait for a useless politician to show his face at an official military ceremony."

Manpower frowned. "Hey, that's your Prime Minister you're talking about, and a Memorial Day commemorative service." And then added: "Though you make a fair point."

"When will he _be here_ ," groaned Marching Band. "I'm melting here. I'm going to fuse with the meshuryanim."

"This is worse than Waiting for Godot," said Theater.

"This is worse than Galgalatz's playlist," said Lehaka. 

"Hey!" said Galgalatz.

Lehaka threw him a disgusted look. "Don't even talk to me. I need to concentrate on my show." She cleared her throat. " _Bab El-Wad,_ " she started humming.

Manpower checked her watch again. "Well, we're getting close to being actually late. I don't suppose you know where he is?" she asked Intelligence.

Intelligence shook her head. "I'm afraid I can't tell you."

"Yeah, yeah," said Manpower, and turned to Spokesperson. "What about you?" 

"I'm your Spokesperson, dude, the government has its own crappy staff."

Manpower sighed. "Okay. I'm going to go make some calls," she said, and flipped open her MIRS, stepping aside.

"So," Education said. "Anyone know any good games?"

"Not any legal ones," said Magav.

"Not any sober ones," said Marching Band.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you," said Intelligence ruefully.

"Anyone else?" Education asked.

A feeble voice rose from the back. "I can read you the speech," Rabbinate croaked.

Education looked at him doubtfully. "The… speech the Prime Minister is going to read at the service? You have it?"

"I helped him write it. The Prime Minister likes my material," said Rabbinate, pulling a wrinkled piece of paper from his pocket. 

"Let me see that," said Reserve, snatching it and beginning to skim. A few paragraphs in he stiffened, fists clenching. "I can't believe I'm losing a day of work for this crap," he said with disgust, stalking off.

"I'll listen," said Infantry, sitting on a low rock. Armor nodded, taking a seat beside him. 

When Manpower returned with news, Rabbinate was still talking. 

"So it seems," she muttered to Medical, "that the Prime Minister's office thought we were doing Independence Day, not Memorial Day. He's going to arrive. Tomorrow."

"I could never have predicted that," said Medical.

"This never happened," said Censor flatly. 

"Fine by me," Manpower sighed. She glanced at Rabbinate, who still had everybody's rapt attention. "That the speech? How is it?" 

Medical shrugged. "Don't come to me if you start feeling sick. This kind of thing wasn't in my specialty."

Manpower turned her ears to the speaker.

" _אֶרְדּוֹף אוֹיְבַי, וְאַשִּׂיגֵם, וְלֹא-אָשׁוּב, עַד-כַּלּוֹתָם_  
אֶמְחָצֵם, וְלֹא-יֻכְלוּ קוּם, יִפְּלוּ, תַּחַת רַגְלָי  
וְאֶשְׁחָקֵם, כְּעָפָר עַל-פְּנֵי-רוּחַ, כְּטִיט חוּצוֹת אֲרִיקֵם  
תְּפַלְּטֵנִי, מֵרִיבֵי-עָם, תְּשִׂימֵנִי, לְרֹאשׁ גּוֹיִם; עַם לֹא-יָדַעְתִּי יַעַבְדוּנִי  
עַל-כֵּן, אוֹדְךָ בַגּוֹיִם יְהוָה, וּלְשִׁמְךָ אֲזַמֵּרָה  
וְעֹשֶׂה חֶסֶד, לִמְשִׁיחוֹ--לְדָוִד וּלְזַרְעוֹ, עַד-עוֹלָם"

Silence stretched out when Rabbinate finished. A bird's cry echoed from far away. 

"That was good," Infantry said, a glint in his eye.

A lone cypress stood tall on the lower slopes of the valley, surrounded by pebbles and shell cases, and the tiny blooming wildflowers of early spring.

**Author's Note:**

> Text paraphrased from Psalms 18 (attributed to our favorite king!). Translation of quoted parts:
> 
>  
> 
> _I will pursue my enemies and overtake them,_  
>  and will not turn back till they are consumed.
> 
>  
> 
> _I will thrust them through, so that they are not able to rise;_  
>  they will fall under my feet.
> 
>  
> 
> _I will beat them fine as dust before the wind;_  
>  I will cast them out like the mire of the streets.
> 
>  
> 
> _You delivered me from strife with the people;_  
>  you made me the head of the nations;  
> people whom I had not known served me.
> 
>  
> 
> _For this I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations,_  
>  and sing to your name.
> 
>  
> 
> _Great salvation he brings to his king,_  
>  and shows steadfast love to his annointed,  
> to David and his offspring forever.
> 
>  
> 
> (Posted in Hebrew because of wordcount, lol)
> 
> Image credits: [Shaar Hagai](http://www.boker.org.il/meida/negev/desert_biking/bab_el_wad/bab_el_wad.htm), [Reshet Studios](http://ornir.co.il/%D7%A6%D7%99%D7%9C%D7%95%D7%9E%D7%99_%D7%90%D7%95%D7%95%D7%99%D7%A8/), [Shaar Hagai](http://lib.cet.ac.il/pages/item.asp?item=4652).


End file.
